Tag Archives: girlcasm

Oh Healthy Day

Juice cleanses. Super trendy, super healthy, super super, super everything. I can’t remember how many of them I have already started in my life, but I can exactly tell you how many of them I have finished: none.

Call me weak, call me a foodie or just a gluttonous pig, but I just can’t seem to be able to pull through, no matter what I do. Either I’ll find an excuse – ever tried only drinking juice during that time of the month? I almost lost my mind in the first five minutes of my cleanse – or I’ll try to trick my body but my body won’t follow: I remember an attempt where, in the night after day three, what they usually call the magical threshold, I woke up in bed, unable to move, weak as never before in life, woke up my boyfriend and begged him to bring me something to eat. He brought me the cake I had baked for him hours before. I ate all of it. End of story.

Anyway. I’ve tried a couple of times, really. I have shown my best will, I’ve tried to trick myself over and over again but it has never worked. Never ever. I think I have finally come to accept that I’m just not that kind of person.

But just like with other things before, I couldn’t get over it. The failure and all. I kept and kept thinking about it. Why? Why can’t I do it? Why can every girl out there do it, why can’t I be like them?

Whatever it is that separates me from the rest of them, I have found a way to make peace with myself and if you’re a weak person like me, this might be something for you, too: Detox Delight Healthy Days.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Healthy Days. Sounds amazing. The idea is to just have one juice cleanse day, whenever you feel like it, and eat normally the day after. No failure, no self-hate, just an easy peasy healthy day. No pressure. Amazing.

And super convenient, too. You order it for whatever day you like and it arrives early in the morning, before you have the time to think about food, ready for you to survive your day running on juice only – five juices, one nut milk, that is.

I tried the Super Green Delight version because I thought if I only do one day I should really go all in. I have to tell you that all of the juices were very sweet nevertheless and all had a touch of citrus, so I didn’t have to struggle through some muddy green fluids. Being a nut lover, of course, the nut milk was my highlight – cashews, cinnamon and stevia. I could drink it on a daily basis.

What can I say. I tried and it worked. Of course I suffered a little, but at least I managed to pull through this time. Finally a sense of achievement. And not a financial disaster like the other couple of times, when I ordered five days but only ever got to day one, two or three.

Personally, I can say that this is the right – and only – way to go for me: A juice day now and then, whenever I feel down, and an otherwise normal eating behavior the rest of the time…whatever that is. Finally I found a way to be happy for all the snitches out there who can pull through a whole 5-day juice cleanse. Good for them, right? Good. For. Them.

A Healthy Day now and then is better than nothing, trust me.

Anna

P.s.: Did you know I’m on Facebook, too?

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All hail the queen

What an exciting time we live in. A time where the question Do you remember the moment when Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with twins? is almost as relevant as the question Do you remember what you were doing on 9/11, when the planes crashed into the towers? used to be.

So…do you? I’m sure you know at least one person who does. Because people are crazy, and sometimes it scares me.

So yeah, Beyoncé got pregnant. Big news. First thing that always comes to my mind when celebrities have kids is – aha, in vitro fertilization, but I guess that makes me a bit crazy, too, so… (Because IVF often leads to twins – take RF, he has two sets of identical twins)

Anyway – is it really that big a piece of news? I know that we tend to get a little overexcited and weird on the internet, but really? Do you really care so much, you have to repost it, give it hearts and everything? Give her the feedback she clearly was aiming at, the one – isn’t it sad?? – she was sure to get from her weirdly staged pregnancy shoot?

Sure, it puts a little bit of pressure on the rest of us. In my world, a lot of people seem to be into weird pregnancy shoots – couple things, the ones where the husbands stand behind their preggo wives and lovingly stroke the oven. It gives me shivers. I love pregnant women, to me each and everyone of them looks beautiful, but I think one simple picture of her is enough and a better memory than a weird couple shoot, but I guess that’s a matter of individual taste. And then there comes Beyoncé, all VOGUE and stuff. Thx Bey, can’t wait for all the desperate housewives showing up to their upcoming shoots bearing veils and flowers.

I don’t know. Personally, I’m just not a fan of this orchestration of something natural. Sure, it’s an amazing thing to happen to every mother – but isn’t it weird not to be able to announce something ordinary (yet amazing) in just a casual, normal way? Not to have a choice but to make profit from every single step of your life, including your kids?

Imagine what Beyoncé’s life must be – excuse my vulgarity, but I can’t help but imagine how every time she takes a dump, she’s thinking about how to make it a huge publicity stunt. Like, I’m gonna put a ton of flowers there, Ivy Blue will have to hand me the paper from this angle over there and I’ll wear a veil in pale rose this time, so everybody understands that I’m all about fresh air and roses.

And the next thing I imagine is her reaction when she sees everybody going crazy over a tiny piece of ‘news’ of hers. Lol, peasants.

And as sick and annoying as this seems to me, she’s obviously doing something right. As soon as one of her pictures is online for a sec, everybody is going crazy, reposting and crying of joy – omg YAS Queen Bey has spoken, and what a revelation it is.

So she’s getting twins now. That’s it. Am I really the only one who couldn’t be bothered by this piece of news? Feels like it, seeing how my whole feed is full of it, days after the news. F*cking chill, people. Go out and feel happy for the news somebody of your closer circle has. I bet when that acquaintance from a couple of years ago announces her pregnancy on Facebook, the same people are close to choking on their negative comments about that person, letting that gossip group chat go wild. But hey, it’s Queen Bey.

Who is she to you, anyway? Calm your tits. I get it if you like her music – even though to me her work is getting more and more overrated – but that doesn’t obligate you to go nuts whenever she announces something personal, I promise.

Go out and be your own queen, trust me.

Anna

P.s.: I’m not a queen, but I could still use a like on Facebook. xoxo

 

Pic via Instagram

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What’s Gucci?

I know I’m totes late on this one, but can we quickly talk about the currently infamous Gucci shirt? In some ridiculous attempt to be a more cheery, less critical version of myself – new year, new me, blahblah – I have kept silent about it, even though of course I do have an opinion about it, as you probably do, too.

Thankfully, I know that you love me at my worst, which is why, what the hell, let me get this off my chest real quick:

The Gucci shirt…I’m sure it doesn’t need an introduction – if social media is your staff of life, you will already have seen it on uncountable occasions. It’s everywhere, you can’t escape – and you love it or you hate it, there’s not in between.

Me, of course, I love it. I’m more of a victim than I’d like to admit to myself.

I mean…I don’t love it, I like it – I could never feel love for a piece of cotton worth a couple hundred of dollars. But it is, apparently. 390€ and sold out – and everybody’s complaining that we’re living in rough economical times. If you ask me, too many people out there are living a crazy good life if spending 400€ on an ordinary shirt is something they consider reasonable. 400 f*cking €. I’m still shocked every time I think about it, because I really was naive enough to think it would cost ‘a crazy 200€’. Cute.

But the price is not what pisses me of. I’m happy for the people who can afford to spend such an amount of money on a simple piece of cloth (disclaimer: of course this is a lie, you cow). Go you for, besides having that bit of spare cash on your hand, being able to ignore sanity screaming on top of its lungs. And honestly, go Gucci, for making so many people want something so simple so badly.

What is starting to annoy me about this shirt is the frequency in which I see it – and the way in which I see it. Enough already.

To be fair – if I ever decided to spend a good part of an overpriced bag on a t-shirt, I’d probably wear the sh*t out of it, too. You’d never see me wear anything else, ever again. 24/7, 365 days straight.

But everything has a date of expiry, especially hypes like this genius Gucci coup. And it’s been too long, seriously – since shortly after Christmas? It feels like another lifetime. I almost feel bad for everybody who is still wearing it on the regular, taking such a satisfaction of shoving it in our faces for yet another time. I mean, let’s be honest – it’s not THAT special. As I said, I do like it, but it’s still a simple f*cking shirt with a washed-off print. It’s time we all calm our tits and forget about it slowly but surely, don’t you think?

And then…why is it that the only way to style this shirt seems to be either pairing it with torn jeans or a patent leather skirt? And no matter which of those vast options you chose, you should not, under no circumstances – do you hear me?? – forget the fishnet tights. The shirt won’t work any other way. Amazing. Or how another wise woman would put it – groundbreaking.

So yeah… coming from a, maybe, slightly jealous place, here’s my plea: Can’t you make it just a little bit more exciting for us? Those of us who have no other choice but look at your feed, marveling at your wardrobe? Can we, like, agree on a max posting frequency of one and the same shirt? Or can we just stop posting it all together already? I promise, I’ll be just as jealous about your other stuff, but please, give me some new hype to make my life seem just a little bit more miserable, I’m tired of this one.

What do you think? Let me know what you’d buy for the price of this shirt 🙂

Don’t ignore the date of expiry, trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: care to follow along on Facebook or share the love? xoxo

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Meat

It’s always hard for me to decide whether or not to cover things when they might be associated with political views which I don’t have or don’t want to debate – I know how the internet is: Especially people who haven’t been following you for a while and happen to take their first glance ever on your blabla, tend to pick up the wrong points from your texts, making it about something it is not. So for the next couple of sentences, please keep in mind: this is not an indication of my political believes or opinion, this is not a confession, nothing – it has nothing to do with politics, politics was just a trigger.

Two or three days ago, I saw one of my fav bloggers from Germany post a picture of terrorism statistics (that infamous one, recently twittered by acknowledged intellectual KimK herself) in her story, captioning it with ‘Fuck Trump’. What an impressive statement to make.

Now I know what sentiments a majority of the western internet culture seems to have at the moment and it’s ok and understandable. Me too, I can’t say I like the new guy, at least I can’t think of a reason for now – but I’ll have to add that this sentiment doesn’t only apply to the new POTUS but also the so called ‘alternative’, Hillary. I never understood how a country like America, filled with bright, ambitious minds, couldn’t come up with other candidates to fill such an important role – well yes, I did, cash is king etc, but that is a completely other topic which I consider closed for this post right here.

What really annoys me about this whole Trump debate is the choice of points to debate and the choice of words that often goes along with it. Again, I totally get it, I’m not amused, either. Me too, I’m sitting at home, in horror of some of the things he says and plots and is starting to implement. Me too, I have a problem with ‘alternative facts’. But some of the things that some people are debating irritate me almost as much and I think we should stop giving people the feeling that this is how you make a valuable contribution to any kind of discussion.

Calling his wife a hooker – is that really your biggest problem? Her being a rather easy woman at some point in her life, apparently? Me too, I ‘liked’ Michelle, but honestly, there’s a limit to what you can and can not say about a woman, no matter who she is and what she did to get her to the point where she is now, no matter what sort of monster you think her husband is etc. Not respecting those limits in a way just shows what kind of person you are, and I can’t say it’s exactly likable, either.

Talking about his orange face, his tiny hands, his double chin or whatever – really? I mean it might have been funny as long as we all believed he wouldn’t make it but now it’s just so far away from what really is important, it gives me headache every time somebody mentions his looks. It’s like you’re trying to jump in on the current anti-Trump train and can’t think of a more valuable argument. Me too, I laugh when I see a picture of his face made of sausage, but if you’re trying to make a point, mentioning his face certainly isn’t a very powerful way to do so.

Same goes for swearwords describing him, especially coming from people from countries or in positions that aren’t really concerned. Like a German blogger commenting on the whole debate saying ‘Fuck Trump’ and nothing else. If that’s really all you have to say to express your opinion, I think you should just keep it to yourself next time. I know that having strong feelings about the person seemingly everybody is having strong feelings about is cool, but it kind of isn’t if you don’t have your own arguments that support your feelings.

The list goes on and on. And I have to comment on it, because I can’t escape it and I can’t unsee it – all of my feeds, no matter where, are filled with such ‘rationale’. And whenever people deliberately choose to make him the topic, sooner or later it drifts off to arguments I don’t want to discuss – not about him, not about anybody else in the world, really.

Because it’s wrong, because it misses the right/important points. I mean the question is – would all of those things bother you if he was a brilliant candidate, apart from that? Of course not. So why, in all of these debates, can’t we focus on what’s important, at least – even if that again is more or less subjective.

So, to come back to making this a more general conclusion, detached from what is going on in ‘the land of the free’: if you want to impress people, if you want to make a point, if you want to make a valuable contribution to a discussion, you have to give it some meat. I know that having an opinion is important, just as is voicing it – but only if it’s equipped with more than just f*cks and mockery. Isn’t it so much better to listen to somebody with good arguments and interesting thoughts? If you have nothing else to say, nothing new to add, I assure you, you’re better off by just not commenting on it.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying you should stop criticizing, protesting or whatever, but whenever your ‘statements’ aren’t longer than two to three words and nothing but short, derogative comments, you’re not winning the debate, you’re disarming yourself.

Don’t be that person, trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Feedback is always appreciated, even if it’s negative – it’s ok if you disagree and I love to hear from you either way – so comment along or follow @girlcasm on Facebook – xoxo

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Never too late

Guys, I’ve been keeping a secret from you and I finally found the time to share it with you. It’s a delicate matter, I know that some of you will be very irritated, so please hear me out, before you go all this is so not Anna on me.

In a surprising turn of fate, I kind of fell in love with a couple of Pandora rings. I know, I know, I know – Yes, me. The ever critical, ever contemptuous Anna. I’m standing in front of you and I’m willing to admit that I might have been wrong on one or the other occasion. I will be giving Pandora rings a chance, from now on – see why:

Firstly, there are these cute flowery rings. If you know my rings, you know that I like to have tiny objects as a ring instead of just plain typical ones. For some inexplicable reason I’m lacking a flower ring, which is definitely something I will change in the future. For this reason, these two have caught my attention straight away as soon as I got to see pictures of Pandora’s new Spring collection. They do look remarkably natural on my fingers, what do you think?

The second pair of rings that got my attention are these two ones – one purple, one green, which is a fav color combo of mine. I absolutely love them and I will definitely want them as soon as they come out. I’m a bit sad that these are the only colors so far, though. I believe Pandora had these in pale pink and white before, but I am really hoping for them to follow up with yellow, blue, orange and flashy pink ones, so I can wear a rainbow around my finger. I’m super excited by the prospect of something which might never happen, which is always a great idea…

The new Spring/ Mother’s Day collection will feature a lot of other pieces, all of them affordable, including new charms, if you or your mother fancy them… This is just a selection of what, to my confusion, immediately caught my eye. The collection will come out in March, which is how long we all will have to wait – including me*. It’s almost sad it won’t be there in time for Valentine’s Day 😉

So here, I said it – I will definitely be getting the green and purple rings. Are you a Pandora girl? Let me know what you’re thinking.

It’s never too late to change your opinion, trust me.

Anna

 

*Because yes, if you were thinking that I have sold my soul for this post, you’re mistaken – being able to show you my fav pieces before they come out in March does not mean I get to keep them so you better believe that this is just me sharing my honest opinion. And now be a good girl, go to Facebook and give @girlcasm a like – xoxo

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