Monthly Archives: April 2016

Plan B

It’s Thursday, which traditionally – in Germany and Switzerland – is Germany’s Next Topmodel Day: the day for girls to either cheer for their fav girl or wonder how 80% of the girls even got there (She so doesn’t look like a model, wtf? I know at least ten girls who are so much more special than her!), for guys to exchange brainless comments about the dos and don’ts of smashing a 14-year-old (go, you! – especially those of you who never ever get laid, ever) and for absolutely everybody to find yet another reason to hate on Heidi Klumcan’t she shut up, retire and treat herself to like a bazillion burgers already?

I’m not going to deny it – there was a time when GNTM was part of my weekly routine, too. I had my peak some year during my Bachelor’s studies when we regularly met to watch it all together in a group of about ten girls, just shouting out whatever came to our mind. You know, the usual: How misshapen is that girl’s body? Her face is so f*cking ordinary, I’m more of a model than she is. God, she’s so dumb. How can somebody be so annoying? Can’t she f*cking go home already? So bitchy, so much fun. Aww…When was that? 2012? I miss you girls!!

Anyway. Life happens and everybody goes away – for an exchange, for an internship, all spread in all four corners of the world. A new year comes, a new season of GNTM starts and we’re all slightly excited, thinking back of the fun evenings we had, watching it together. We exchange hearts and exclamation points over Whatsapp, sit down to watch it, all alone in front of our TV and then it hits us: What a waste of time.

Of course. Another bunch of minors, same stories, same shootings, same challenges, same ‘problems’. Everybody’s shocked about having their hair cut off, somebody doesn’t want to pose nude for religious reasons and two girls are having huge problems kissing a male model because of their boyfriends at home – once succeeds, one doesn’t, Heidi is disappointed, boohoohoo. There’s always one whose runway walk resembles a newborn calf and another annoying one who’s flabbergasted realizing that a little acting is part of the job, too. Like, the fu*ck? Even I with my short-as-they-get legs know that being a model is not just about being called gorgeous and gracing the cover of Vogue with the same old pose every now and then. It’s a good thing I have nothing to say around there, I would just randomly send everybody home whoever dared to not get the basics right, together with telling them to get over the fact that they are just as ordinary as everybody else and that it’s not the f*cking end of the world.

I know, Anna chill – it’s a show, they have to be annoying to be entertaining and if they aren’t, the producers will make them look really dumb, obnoxious or whatever. I get that.

What I don’t get is why you’d want to be a part of this – a waste of time. Why your desire to be praised for your looks is so big, you want to be part of something that lives on mocking you. Nobody cares about you succeeding or not. If you’re not entertaining enough for whatever reason, you’re of no value, to nobody. ProSieben didn’t even have the decency to show all of the girls (who had made it to their public voting on the website) on screen during their first TV show, leaving the explanation as to why they never showed up on screen to the girls.

I know we have all of these great examples of people being super successful without ever getting a degree and I know we have even more examples of people having a degree but not being capable of doing anything, but seeing girls who call being a model their dream and crying when they have to leave the cash cow that is XY-NTM makes me genuinely sad. I wish somebody told them that there is so much more to life and their capabilities than being acknowledged for a good physique and pretty face – you can keep the cheese, it’s complimentary – and that yes, being attractive can open the most awesome doors, but even more with another backup. Like, why not be the girl who has it all – a finance degree and the body of a model? And I mean, it’s not like I go to university because I love studying things of which I’ll probably never get to use about 90% in my entire professional career…

I obviously don’t qualify for either, neither a career as a model (let’s establish ‘snack size model’, everybody?) nor anything close to juggling numbers, but at least I have a plan B in case my dream career doesn’t work out. But who am I kidding – Anna Wintour, your days are counted.

Always have a plan B, trust me.

Anna

 

EDIT: I just watched it and I’d like to add: Wow, Heidi – you’re such an old witch.

 

P.s.: Dreaming of being a model and offended now? Please consult my disclaimer. Totes agree with what I’m saying? You should visit me on Facebook. Anything in between? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section xx

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Crazy healthy #6: veganism

UAAARGH it’s been ages since my last #crazyhealthy post and I hope you’ve all survived it, following my mother’s rules and all. Today I’m here to say a couple of words about veganism, which actually doesn’t quite fit this category here because, unlike many vegans that I’ve had the chance to meet in my life, I will not start a debate on why one or the other diet is right or wrong or healthy or not or … Heads Up! Generalization!

So I’d like to start this off by saying that I love meat. I’m not even sure if love is the right word, obsessed is more like it, maybe. Let’s just say I rather enjoy many products that come from animals and I am not afraid to say it. I love love love meat and there’s little in the world that can change this. The only thing that I do care about in this context is the quality of the products and the lives these animals have spent so I do make sure to spend more and maybe eat less of it, and yes, I know, it might be an illusion to believe in the promises that are being made about ethical husbandry etc. Anyway, go on, call me a bad person – yes, I’ve heard about a lot of cruel things and I’ve seen videos and I’ve thought about it a couple of times, but I always came back to the point of not choosing to change my diet because I believe that if my body is craving all of these things so badly, then it must be something it needs. That is my definition of healthy. I believe my body is smarter than my f*cked up mind and knows what it needs. And some days it says give me a steak, ASAP, and other days it says good girl, and now cover that sh*t in as many cheese as you can get. Also, I might be a bit lazy, when I think of all the sacrifice that comes with it in your everyday life…

I’m fine with vegans, though. I mean, I don’t get how somebody can live without diary – soy yoghurt is such a disgusting thing and so is rice milk – and act like meat didn’t smell heavenly but I do agree that there are a lot of super yummy vegan options that I could stuff my belly with daily – with a side of meat, that is.

What truly annoys me is that I can’t expect the same the other way around. It’s not like I can’t take the inconvenient truth, it’s just that some people can’t express their opinion in a normal way or accept the fact that there might be some truth in other approaches than theirs. So many times I’ve met vegans wo are just full of sh*t and I’m sorry if you’re not one of them – I advise you to stop reading here and come back next post, in case you don’t hate my guts already after this introduction… Anyway, here it is:

My – incomplete – what grinds my gears list – Heads Up! Generalization!:

  • It’s true what they say about vegans – they will always find a way to let you know. Why??? Imagine if I went around introducing myself like Hi, I’m Anna, and I like my steak medium rare. Who do you think would care? Isn’t it sad if that’s what you think defines you so much, you need to put it down in your Tinder bio? Also, I can’t take you seriously when, after being vegan for 3 weeks, you call yourself vegan. It’s like chill, sometimes I go a day without meat and I don’t decide to tell everybody I meet that day.
  • I obviously hate being told about how I’m a bad person for consuming living creatures for fun, but I can live with that – just because I don’t seem to have enough heart to care enough, doesn’t mean I don’t respect people for doing so. What, on the other hand, makes me a little nervous are questions like – if eating animals is wrong, why isn’t wearing a leather belt? Is it ok to ignore everything when it comes to Chanel bags made of cute little lambs? Because there are these people, you know.
  • ‘I’m mostly vegan, but it doesn’t work all of the time.’ Ok. This makes you NOT vegan, do you understand? You’re just somebody who avoids meat and loves to tell people, but sometimes you’re just too lazy to care or to stay hungry for a couple of hours. That’s not conviction, don’t you agree? It’s like people telling you they are vegetarians but they eat fish. Ehm, nope – you’re not. You’re a person that doesn’t like meat. That’s it. And I’m not the only one who thinks that way, trust me.
  • My fav phrases are things like – I love these meat-free sausages, they taste just like real sausages. Or Why don’t you try a tofu steak, you honestly wouldn’t know the difference! So… you condemn eating meat, but you’re desperately trying to find something that tastes like a yummy cow or pig? Just shut up already.
  • And then what’s with all the health arguments? I truly believe that if you don’t go eating tons of bacon and other bad meat every day, you will not be less healthy than somebody who doesn’t consume animal products at all. Especially with all the crappy, super processed vegan products you can buy which sound super fancy, but often contain a lot of scary stuff, too. You can’t tell me that eating packed stale vegan bread is more healthy than eating fresh, good quality bread with traces of milk or whatever. Or milk in general – if you don’t drink five liters a day, I don’t believe it’ll make you more sick than an equal amount of, mostly, sugary soy milk. I just don’t.
  • As a last point I’d like to mention all of you f*cked up girls on Instagram who promote veganism as a way to lose weight: you’re full of sh*t. It’s not the way to get a message across. You don’t care about animals as much as you care about being skinny. You don’t judge people for eating animals, you judge them for being fat. I bet you don’t like big, old dogs and you think pigs smell. Trump promoting altruism would be more credible than you are.

As I said, incomplete. I could go on and on and on. But I don’t start that argument if it’s not a friendly, informative exchange of different but equally ok belief. Because I’m not that kind of person. And you shouldn’t be, either. Let’s just talk about something else, shall we?

Eat whatever you want and if somebody tries to lecture you, eat them, too.

Anna

 

P.s.: I did not say that I think that being vegan is wrong, but here’s my disclaimer for all the vegans without a sense of humor out there and my Facebook page here, in case you’re a meat lover, too.

 

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Thirsty

I hope you’re all aware of the fact that Coachella is a two-weekend event. Yup. I know. The f*ck. This must be a joke. Let’s just hope that people who weren’t able to make it to the first w/e will be too embarrassed to mention the second one because, I don’t know about you, but I’ve already had enough of it like five minutes after it had started. Or even before.

One might argue that I’m just a jealous b*tch, which is always the easiest solution to a word of criticism to a commonly appraised thing such as Coachella and yes, I might have been at some point, which is so whatever because that again must have been like ages ago, before I realized how little of the time you spend there is actually spent enjoying the famous fake atmosphere when you take into account how time-consuming it must be to create all the content that is needed to even give all of this craziness some kind of sense. So don’t be sad people, for most of the participants it’s really just a business trip.

Because the truth is, honestly, with no malevolence at all: it’s just plain annoying to anybody who doesn’t get paid to go there. And Rihanna maybe. I mean yes, I wouldn’t mind being as obnoxious as can be if I got paid by some shitty brand in return – Hello, s. Oliver? Nobody except your mum, maybe, would ever consider it a cool brand but you can’t really blame people for acting as if it was the sh*t in return for being bribed with a free Chella weekend, right? – and of course Riri was having fun, probably the usual high AF in company of non other than Leo.

To continue this in the spirit that you’d expect from me, I would like to say a couple of words about the German crowd – the ones who don’t really belong there but act like they f*cking run everything in and around of Coachella. If you’re a passionate Instagram user you know exactly who I talk about, no other chance, because even if you don’t follow them – like me – you still didn’t get around seeing all of their pics and vids and…WOW… how do I put this without sounding like a complete b*tch?

It’s obvious that I myself am not a big fan, but sometimes I wonder if and why I seem to belong to a minority here – how can you all follow all of them on every possible channel without going crazy? Seriously. The group around the three girls who once set out to ‘connect’ bloggers (and who are now clearly just trying to promote themselves by leaving no stone unturned) is growing and growing with people who are so similar, if you take a closer look – in their style, their character and their behavior. If you follow one of them, I seriously don’t see a reason why you should follow the rest of them, only to see the same snapshots f*cking ten times in a row.

It’s cool, you seem to be having fun and again, no hate, of course I can think of worse jobs than this one. But wow, how about some f*cking balance? It’s enough to mention your – perceived – superiority to the rest of the participants once, if you really can’t just keep your thoughts on that to yourself, you don’t have to repeat it over and over again. Your target audience of 14-year-olds from Berlin must have gotten it by now. Also, how about you just pick a limited set of clichés to upload and just enjoy the rest of it in silence? Palm trees, check. Ferris wheel, check. Fringes on one piece of clothing instead of all of them, check.

To be fair, I’ll have to admit that I’m still on team Nina. I obviously love her style, no hate, and she’s obviously the only one who can consider herself belonging to whatever all of the rest of them are striving for. She clearly knows what she’s doing and is a natural, so I’ll even turn a blind eye on her promoting s. Oliver in a post, even if we all know damn well she wouldn’t even take a dump close to somebody wearing s. Olivier if she wasn’t paid for it.

So, to be clear: I’m not hating on anybody for promoting things for money – if you know a little bit about it, you know that it takes a lot of discipline, dedication and strategy behind the scenes to make a living off a business model that seems to be about fun only. I’m all for #girlbosses and supporting people who do their own thing. I just couldn’t not comment on the contrast between ambitious and thirsty.

Anyway – brace yourselves for another round of in-crowd spam this weekend. If there ever was a right time to join that specific crowd of bullsh*t people who are doing a digital detox after making sure they have told all of their friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumbler – it is now. See you on Monday.

Don’t be thirsty, trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Offended? Please consult my disclaimer. Up for more of this? Make sure to follow on Facebook or leave a comment – mercibo :*

 

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Bukowski

People, it’s time for a more serious post, because that’s what life is: serious. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, which is why I can’t always talk about fashion and sex on here – you have to understand.

Today I’d like to cover the topic of finding a job, because I feel like this is something that bothers me and my friends a lot and for that reason might bother most of my readers as well, if we argue with age and place in life. Sometimes I think that this must be something that only bothers people from my university to this extent, in which case I would have made a huge mistake.

A couple of days ago a close friend of mine got rejected from a company she had applied to. Usually, such rejections reach you via automatic mail, full of stock sentences – we’re sorry to inform you, just too many applicants, you’re great, but somebody fit the position just a tiny bit better than you. Exactly what I pointed out to my friend: copy paste at its best, nothing to take personally. My friend got super mad at me for not showing more sympathy and pity, for not joining in the mood of doom. You could argue she was right, people expect friends to say the things you want to hear from them and I do agree that I could have squeezed in a compassionate sentence and I have definitely taken note do make sure I do in the future. But only in order to not offend people.

Because the truth is: I firmly believe that this is the way we should react to such things – calm, not emotional, distant and not hurt. And why not? We know what we bring to the table and we know what we deserve, don’t we? To me, finding a job is like finding a partner – at least if you’re in the lucky position of not having to fight for mere survival – and finding a partner, a really good one, not just anybody, is a) not that easy either and b) dependent on so many things which you can and can’t influence and therefore c) not to be taken personally. And what do you say to a friend when their partner rejects them? F*ck him or her, not your loss.

Like most people, you’ll end up spending most of the time of your life with your job and your colleagues. If you can afford it, you’ll want it to be close to perfect – there’s probably no job in the world that doesn’t suck from time to time – and you’ll want your colleagues to be somewhat tolerable, if not exactly your type of people. You will want to not hate every single day of your existence, you’ll want to not completely despise your team and you’ll probably want to feel good about the company you work for and the contribution you make to its success. And this is where passion comes into play.

To me, passion is an important factor to happiness – if you can afford it, this is what you should be looking for: find what you love and let it kill you. I’m not talking about being a struggling artist in whatever field or traveling the world and living off the mercy of other people here. I mean, yes, I get why people would see this and not contributing to society in a real way as the ultimate form of passion and happiness, but sadly we can’t all live that way, just the way that not everybody can go out and wear more or less cute outfits to Coachella and get paid for it – some people will have to work in order to in turn even give some sense to their existence. To me it is about finding something you care about and can be really good at, while contributing to society as a whole and making a living off it – that’s the art.

It’s not about making Lambo money instead of Fiat money, it is not about only working for a company that screams I’ve f*cking made it and it’s not about taking a path that seems to be the right – and only – path, because everybody seems to be heading in that particular direction. It’s about finding the right thing for you and your person, no matter what influences there are. This is something that I think many people at my university tend to forget and what leads to unnecessary pressure of reaching some kind of imaginary goal, which in turn is exactly the reason why I end up having conversations like the one I had with my friend the other day.

Most importantly, I believe that finding the right thing for you, just like finding the right partner, is a two-sided thing: if he’s not that into you, if he doesn’t appreciate every aspect of your being, if he doesn’t take the time to get to know you –  then he’s just not the one and you shouldn’t waste your time on pondering the whys and focus on what else might be in stock for you out there. I believe that finding the perfect fit for you is just too satisfying to focus on the obviously not so perfect fit. And it might take some time.

What a serious, prissy post, right? But next time you get a rejection, standardized or not, something better is waiting for you – trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Don’t tell me you’re offended by this post? You must have missed my disclaimer. And why haven’t you liked my Facebook page yet? Thank you.

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Crushin #2: Frenemies

We’re living in complicated times, economically and politically, where everybody hates and fights everybody and if you haven’t slept through the past few years of your existence, you’ll know who has and probably always will be the world’s favorite frenemy: Russia. If you don’t agree then please take a moment to think back to all the badly synchronized Russian villains we had to suffer through in basically every single Bond movie or take a look at the chronicles of NZZ’s pathetic daily anti Russia articles.

I’ve already said a few things about Russia on here some while ago, but don’t worry, I’m not planning to go into political debates on here, ever – the internet is offering you enough places to go if you’re into that sort of stuff and way too few blogs with room for unsubstantial chatter, amiright? Well, I’m here to help you with this with today’s fashion #inspo slash yay-Russia-propaganda. You’re welcome.

If you’re even half the Instagram native that I am, you’ll have heard about the following two ladies anyway, but I bet there’s still many of you who can’t help but think of D&G headbands, fur boots and oriental carpets on the wall whenever somebody mentions Russia and fashion in one sentence. To be honest, I can’t really blame you – even I am seriously impressed by the visual performance of some ladies whenever I visit my home country and slightly embarrassed whenever I stumble upon a profile of yet another rich AF tasteless Russian stay at home sl*t. But, believe it or not, Russian taste does have its beautiful sides and we, too, are and always have been a country of aesthetes. So without further ado, please meet Mira and Natasha – my two favorite power moms:

Miroslava Duma – founder of Buro247.com

After Loewe show wearing @Loewe Get the look via @liketoknow.it www.liketk.it/1Ujeo #liketkit

A photo posted by Miroslava Duma (@miraduma) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/5w154PM1YI/?taken-by=miraduma

Double trouble at #LVPalmSprings #LVcruise @louisvuitton with @alexianied

A photo posted by Miroslava Duma (@miraduma) on

Natasha Goldenberg – editor, stylist, consultant, mom, …

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD3RkNDD6ie/?taken-by=ngoldenberg&hl=de

Hi Tommy, let's play with my Prada ❤️

A photo posted by Natasha Goldenberg (@ngoldenberg) on

When we go out. #DramaDrama

A photo posted by Natasha Goldenberg (@ngoldenberg) on

I could go on and on in putting pictures of their outfits on here, but I guess you get the idea: patterns, colors, perfect combinations and not just your usual monochrome boredom. Feminine and sexy, yet never cheap. Not just a combination of the typical it-pieces, but real #goals. Also, shoutout to all you short girls out there!

I guess you could argue that this kind of wardrobe is not just a matter of style and taste, but also a question of having the necessary loose change – but then again Chiara doesn’t seem to have liquidity problems and look at what choices she makes with the cash she earns from your attention… Yawn! Without comparison, but that’s only my humble opinion.

So next time you hear somebody say something bad about Russian taste, please let them know that they have no clue and don’t forget to casually remind them that it’s not us who are famous for savagely combining sandals and white socks at the most impossible occasions.

Care to share your fav fashion icons?

Russian influences can be good for us, sometimes – trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Here’s my disclaimer for if you’ve been hurt by this post and here’s my Facebook page, if you care to share some love.

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