Life is full of decisions, we all know how it is. Some of them are easy, some of them are more difficult. Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads. We’re confused and we don’t know what to do. Some aspects hint to one direction, others in a completely different one. Life can be really really hard. With Gucci having such a glorious comeback in the recent times, I imagine you’re having feelings similarly to the ones just described when it comes to flashy label belts, the ones with a logo as a buckle – are they back? To wear or not to wear? Actually no, right? But maybe yes?
Have no fear, I got ya – I’m here to guide you through this one. I’ll always be here for you.
To avoid any kind of confusion that might arise, let’s just quickly anticipate my point here – I’m sure you’ve already guessed it anyway. The answer is plain and simple: f*cking no. There never was, there never will be a time for label belts. Never ever. Not Gucci, not Fendi, not Hermès and sure as hell not Louis V. None of them. Not if taste isn’t a completely alien concept to you. Trust me.
Label belts are a huge warning sign for me. Women with label belts is something I kind of accept with a commiserative shake of the head – hormones and stuff: one day you eat your whole f*cking fridge out and are still hungry, next day you decide to buy that cute little fugly Louis V belt that only works with washed out Miss Sixty jeans from 15 years ago and a matching belly button piercing, maybe. But men! I am absolutely positively sure that a guy with a f*cking 800$plus H gracing his balls can only be a huge f*cking douche, no matter what.
I’m not saying that my fashion sense is the best and I sure as hell don’t go without failing when it comes to fashion – I am well aware that my fondness of colorful outfits is not everybody’s cup of tea, for example. But, as with many things, there’s always a difference between bad and worse or absolutely unacceptable. Label belts are the latter. They are the epitome of tackiness. A distinctive mark of the tribe of the primitive anonymous. A modern tramp stamp for both sexes. Hideous. An absolute no-go.
Trust me, I’m not being a bitch here, I’m just trying to talk some sense into you. Me too, I have friends with such belts who I actively choose to love whenever I see them wearing them, even though they make me question everything that I appreciate about our friendship. Me too, I fell in love with a guy who seriously thought that flashy label belts were a thing at some point – something that almost cost us our first encounter. Imagine the horror of finding countless photos featuring Gucci and Fendi belts during your first intense Facebook stalking-session. Whyyyyy? It almost crushed my hope of having found a potential candidate for my heart and hand. Thank god I was desperate enough to think that his views might change. Because they did. It’s ok now. Contact me if you’re looking to buy cheap old Gucci and Fendi belts. Think enemies.
If you think that my opinion is too harsh, let me put this the other way: name one person with style who’s wearing them on a regular and or voluntary basis, I challenge you. Attention: bloggers, of course, don’t count, seeing that they are as close to a wh*re as you can get, without taking your clothes off. They will wear whatever the highest bidder will tell them to wear, no questions asked. And they are also the one’s who are currently jumping on the new Gucci-belt wagon.
Anyway guys, I came to tell you that it’s never too late, believe me. Even if you have, at some point in life, chosen the wrong turn and bought a belt with a flashy label buckle. You can always give it back. You can always be cruel and sell it to somebody looking for an accessory to match their Speedy bag. You can always send it as far away from yourself as possible. Or you can always just throw it in the garbage, where it f*cking belongs. Let go of it. See it as an investment in your dignity. I promise to never mention it to anybody.
It’s never too late to say sorry, trust me.