All hail the queen

What an exciting time we live in. A time where the question Do you remember the moment when Beyoncé announced her pregnancy with twins? is almost as relevant as the question Do you remember what you were doing on 9/11, when the planes crashed into the towers? used to be.

So…do you? I’m sure you know at least one person who does. Because people are crazy, and sometimes it scares me.

So yeah, Beyoncé got pregnant. Big news. First thing that always comes to my mind when celebrities have kids is – aha, in vitro fertilization, but I guess that makes me a bit crazy, too, so… (Because IVF often leads to twins – take RF, he has two sets of identical twins)

Anyway – is it really that big a piece of news? I know that we tend to get a little overexcited and weird on the internet, but really? Do you really care so much, you have to repost it, give it hearts and everything? Give her the feedback she clearly was aiming at, the one – isn’t it sad?? – she was sure to get from her weirdly staged pregnancy shoot?

Sure, it puts a little bit of pressure on the rest of us. In my world, a lot of people seem to be into weird pregnancy shoots – couple things, the ones where the husbands stand behind their preggo wives and lovingly stroke the oven. It gives me shivers. I love pregnant women, to me each and everyone of them looks beautiful, but I think one simple picture of her is enough and a better memory than a weird couple shoot, but I guess that’s a matter of individual taste. And then there comes Beyoncé, all VOGUE and stuff. Thx Bey, can’t wait for all the desperate housewives showing up to their upcoming shoots bearing veils and flowers.

I don’t know. Personally, I’m just not a fan of this orchestration of something natural. Sure, it’s an amazing thing to happen to every mother – but isn’t it weird not to be able to announce something ordinary (yet amazing) in just a casual, normal way? Not to have a choice but to make profit from every single step of your life, including your kids?

Imagine what Beyoncé’s life must be – excuse my vulgarity, but I can’t help but imagine how every time she takes a dump, she’s thinking about how to make it a huge publicity stunt. Like, I’m gonna put a ton of flowers there, Ivy Blue will have to hand me the paper from this angle over there and I’ll wear a veil in pale rose this time, so everybody understands that I’m all about fresh air and roses.

And the next thing I imagine is her reaction when she sees everybody going crazy over a tiny piece of ‘news’ of hers. Lol, peasants.

And as sick and annoying as this seems to me, she’s obviously doing something right. As soon as one of her pictures is online for a sec, everybody is going crazy, reposting and crying of joy – omg YAS Queen Bey has spoken, and what a revelation it is.

So she’s getting twins now. That’s it. Am I really the only one who couldn’t be bothered by this piece of news? Feels like it, seeing how my whole feed is full of it, days after the news. F*cking chill, people. Go out and feel happy for the news somebody of your closer circle has. I bet when that acquaintance from a couple of years ago announces her pregnancy on Facebook, the same people are close to choking on their negative comments about that person, letting that gossip group chat go wild. But hey, it’s Queen Bey.

Who is she to you, anyway? Calm your tits. I get it if you like her music – even though to me her work is getting more and more overrated – but that doesn’t obligate you to go nuts whenever she announces something personal, I promise.

Go out and be your own queen, trust me.


P.s.: I’m not a queen, but I could still use a like on Facebook. xoxo


Pic via Instagram

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