Crazy healthy #3: artifcial hormones

I just realized that it’s been almost two weeks since I last talked about my mother, can you believe it? Outrageous, I know, and I’m sorry. I will try to make it up to you with some good old TMI, ok? Ok. Today’s topic for crazy healthy is the topic of artificial hormones – close friends of mine know that this is a topic that really gets my mother going.

Remember the time your mother told you it was time to go and see a gynecologist and you probably picked a female Dr. because you were uncomfortable with the idea of having a man – a stranger –  stick his head between your legs? That time when you never would have thought that this idea would become much less devious just a couple of years later at uni? Remember when he prescribed you these magical pills you’ve heard all about, the ones that would make your boobs grow with a good chance of blowing up the rest of your body, too? Those pills that would finally clear your skin, make sure you menstruate regularly and, most importantly, finally give you this mythical glow that only people who are sexually active have?

While all of my close and not so close friends were slowly starting to casually mention that they were on the pill now whenever they could, I was the only one among them who wasn’t so keen to talk about it. The moment I came home with my magical pills, my mother took them away from me and made me promise to never ever take one of them – because the pill was evil.

Why? Well, my mother could go on and on about it, let me know if you’d like to chat to her about it in more detail. To put it short: it is not good for your body to feed it with artificial hormones to make your endocrine system act the way it wouldn’t normally act. It is not only unnatural, it is also unnecessary.

I was 14 at that time and I was devastated. I felt like a basic right was taken away from me – the membership to a club of people who were so grown up, so knowing. Everybody was on the pill, even girls that were younger than me. It took me quite a while to come to terms with the fact that I would never belong to them.

How did I survive until today without being a mother of five already, you might wonder? Well first of all, I was rather fugly when I was younger so it wasn’t like I had to fight off semen 24/7 for most of my puberty. Later, when I had my first boyfriend, I used a contraception computer which basically tells you when you can have sexual intercourse without using a condom. The rest of the time I was lucky enough to never meet some f*cktard with an alleged latex allergy. Nowadays I know my body well enough to know when I’m safe and when I should better take precautions.

I know that this approach is unimaginable for most people. Everybody is so paranoid about getting pregnant, more paranoid than about getting fatal STDs. You shouldn’t be – man is the most infertile mammal on earth. I know that teenage pregnancy is a topic but this probably has something to do with brain rather than the choice of contraceptive. I know that I haven’t gotten pregnant for 25 years now and it’s not because I wasn’t interested in boys.

But somehow everybody but my mother seemed to think of the pill as a magic bullet for everything and so I had to defend myself for many many times in the following years. Whenever I had something that could be associated with hormones, I was advised to take the pill – fighting symptoms, not causes. Whenever I complained about my horrible skin – the pill. I had several doctors try to convince me to take the pill, just because it was convenient. Even my ex-boyfriends parents wanted him to force me to take the pill – like chill people, I would do anything in my power not to get a child with genes of people who would even think of something like that.

I’m not judging women who are on the pill because they feel it’s more convenient – I sometimes buy frozen vegetables because it’s more convenient than to wash and cut them myself. With this post I just wanted to share with you that there is an alternative and that it is not all too absurd – because I think that girls aren’t being encouraged to even think of this alternative. I have friends who take the pill even if they aren’t in a relationship and I know that there are a lot of girls out there who take it from a young age on, whether they are sexually active or not. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because they are told that this is the way it should be. Maybe because they believe it’s better to feed yourself artificial hormones instead of having one or two pimples more. I really don’t know, but I think it’s worth some consideration. All I know is that today I am really thankful for having such a crazy woman of a mother who never gives in – even if it took me a couple of years.

Let me know if there’s somebody else out there who shares a similar view – in all of my life I think I have only met one person who agreed with me on this point. 🙂

Consideration is good for you, trust me.



P.s.: If you’re new to this #crazyhealthy series, here are the first two:





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2 thoughts on “Crazy healthy #3: artifcial hormones

  1. Emilia

    Giveaway in form von einem gutschein/vaucher oder etwas kleiner wie schmuck? 🙂 es würden dir aber viele sicher auch ohne giveaway feedback geben 😀

    1. girlcasm Post author

      Mhm… Gutscheine sind ja sehr ortsabhängig leider… Dachte auch schon an Schmuck, ja. Tun sie auch, aber ich dachte ich könnte so vielleicht auch mal negatives Feedback rauskitzeln oder auch die, die sonst nicht einfach so was sagen 🙂


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