Tag Archives: cleanse

Oh Healthy Day

Juice cleanses. Super trendy, super healthy, super super, super everything. I can’t remember how many of them I have already started in my life, but I can exactly tell you how many of them I have finished: none.

Call me weak, call me a foodie or just a gluttonous pig, but I just can’t seem to be able to pull through, no matter what I do. Either I’ll find an excuse – ever tried only drinking juice during that time of the month? I almost lost my mind in the first five minutes of my cleanse – or I’ll try to trick my body but my body won’t follow: I remember an attempt where, in the night after day three, what they usually call the magical threshold, I woke up in bed, unable to move, weak as never before in life, woke up my boyfriend and begged him to bring me something to eat. He brought me the cake I had baked for him hours before. I ate all of it. End of story.

Anyway. I’ve tried a couple of times, really. I have shown my best will, I’ve tried to trick myself over and over again but it has never worked. Never ever. I think I have finally come to accept that I’m just not that kind of person.

But just like with other things before, I couldn’t get over it. The failure and all. I kept and kept thinking about it. Why? Why can’t I do it? Why can every girl out there do it, why can’t I be like them?

Whatever it is that separates me from the rest of them, I have found a way to make peace with myself and if you’re a weak person like me, this might be something for you, too: Detox Delight Healthy Days.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Healthy Days. Sounds amazing. The idea is to just have one juice cleanse day, whenever you feel like it, and eat normally the day after. No failure, no self-hate, just an easy peasy healthy day. No pressure. Amazing.

And super convenient, too. You order it for whatever day you like and it arrives early in the morning, before you have the time to think about food, ready for you to survive your day running on juice only – five juices, one nut milk, that is.

I tried the Super Green Delight version because I thought if I only do one day I should really go all in. I have to tell you that all of the juices were very sweet nevertheless and all had a touch of citrus, so I didn’t have to struggle through some muddy green fluids. Being a nut lover, of course, the nut milk was my highlight – cashews, cinnamon and stevia. I could drink it on a daily basis.

What can I say. I tried and it worked. Of course I suffered a little, but at least I managed to pull through this time. Finally a sense of achievement. And not a financial disaster like the other couple of times, when I ordered five days but only ever got to day one, two or three.

Personally, I can say that this is the right – and only – way to go for me: A juice day now and then, whenever I feel down, and an otherwise normal eating behavior the rest of the time…whatever that is. Finally I found a way to be happy for all the snitches out there who can pull through a whole 5-day juice cleanse. Good for them, right? Good. For. Them.

A Healthy Day now and then is better than nothing, trust me.


P.s.: Did you know I’m on Facebook, too?

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Happy Monday!

You might have noticed that this blogging thing has been going rather slowly. I have come to realize that – surprise, surprise – I’m not as creative and super funny as I thought I was. I mean, of course I am, just not by command. I don’t enjoy picking topic after topic and trying to text a minimum of 600 words about it whether there is enough to say about it or not, or limiting myself to a max of 900 words in order to not bore you to death. I have realized that I don’t like my posts when I have forced myself to write something because it’s been too long without a post. I also don’t want to blog about the latest trends, I don’t want to have a regular fashion post, I don’t want to give you recipes you can find all over the net anyway… you get the point.

Anyway. It’s a new week, uni has started for me again, which I feel should be accompanied with a BANG of motivation and positivity for it be good, spring is just around the corner, lalala, one thing leads to another and here I am, letting you know about this week’s new week new me project: a cleanse. Yeah, F me, I know. Not again. Not you. Yawn. Just no, right?

I don’t know, honestly, I do not know how I got here, to this point, but it just feels like the right thing to do, even if I don’t believe I will make it past 10 am of day one of five. I love my yoghurt and cheese and eggs and coffee in the morning. And don’t get me started on my meat. I lurrrrve steak. I’m a real diehard carnivore. I do care about where my meat comes from and I come from a family that pays a lot for good meat but I would never give it up. Not in order to be ‘more skinny’, not for the love of animals, just not. Call me a cold-hearted bitch all you want. And all the rest of the fun foods doesn’t come in a cleanse friendly shape either. So what the hell am I doing here, or attempting to do?


I can’t live on juice only for even just a day. I can’t. I just can’t. I love food. I love chewing. Chewing gives me a satisfaction I can’t describe and I don’t want to go sipping on some sad fluid for days. Even if it’s tasty, it’s still missing a real meal on the side. I don’t want that. I don’t want to do this to my body. Yolo and all that. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels my ass. Chew your food as long as you still can.

So you see, I’m still the old me, so I guess it’s not a real cleanse the way you other hardcore bitches do it. I wanted to call this post ‘pussy cleanse’ but you’ll agree that this wouldn’t have been a good idea either… But what my plan for the next five days is: eat fruit and vegetables only, nothing more. No salt, no coffee, no sugar, no meat, no alcohol – but as much fruit and vegetables as I want to. As a juice, as a smoothie, cooked, raw, whatever. And flax and chia seed and cocoa powder, because I believe that won’t hurt my body either. And that’s it. Does that sound reasonable to you or not?

Why? Not because I want to lose weight, obviously – a) because I’m not a huge fan of the idea of being a skinny bitch b) because we all know that whatever you lose in that time, you’ll gain back just shortly after – even though, let’s be honest, I wouldn’t mind ending up looking like heavenly creature after those five days. I have also yet again missed the train for joining the religious fasting period for 40 days, which I’ve been wanting to try for years. I think the real reason for this step is my weird hormonal condition which I only mention to give this a sad, mysterious hint but don’t want to further elaborate on, details can be ugly. But let’s just take this as an attempt to feel fresher, energized – spring-cleaning for my body. And I hope this will work without a miserable juice cleanse…

Wish me luck – and join me, maybe?

Chewing is good for you, trust me.



P.S.: If this post has offended you, please read my disclaimer as well – and if it hasn’t, why don’t you say hi on Facebook?







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