Tag Archives: diet

They don’t call it balance for nothing

You know how time and  time again you come across a social phenomenon you notice and catch yourself thinking – really? Are there still people falling for this / acting this way? Like girls who cry their eyes out because it took them forever to realize they fell for a f*ckboy. Or people, who don’t really know a single Russian person, think that Russians are evil just because everybody tells them so (personal issue here). Or those smart cookies who think that their bag of nuts is special because it says gluten free. Wow.

I had such a WOW moment the other day, when I came across a magazine promising a new way of dieting on its cover. Like… seriously? You people still need somebody to tell you how to lose weight? Wow. I mean…good for the people who can make a living off making a secret of something logical but you can just ask me the next time and spend the money on something else. (Not candy, ideally.)

You know I’m always here for you if you need any kind of advice, so here’s how it goes:

First of all: dieting sucks. Not having the body you desire sucks. Seeing a skinny bitch eating and not gaining weight sucks. Gaining weight just by looking at things – like I know you’re probably convinced it works with you – sucks. Having cravings 24/7 sucks. The perspective of having to put a shitload of work into changing that sucks immensely and so does not having as much discipline and dedication as everybody else seems to have.

But there’s good news, too: it’s not rocket science. The secret in losing weight is simple – it’s basic calculus. Yep, I know – sounds shitty again, but that’s kind of no surprise, is it? Maths suck and so does shedding weight, so at least there’s kind of a pattern here. Some call it balance, to make it sound less scary, but that’s basically the same thing. And that’s all, (almost) no other secret behind it.

That being said, you can do it without spending money on advice. Without buying e-Books, without buying magazines in the first days of January. All you’ll have to do is count or even just estimate. No need to count calories (or macros, god forbid), except if you’re an annoyingly obsessive person, which I totally understand and will never judge – whatever works for you, go you.

But to come to the point: If you eat like a hamster, you’ll look like a hamster – except if you’ll put an equal amount of effort in working your *ss off. Addition, subtraction, result. And that’s it. The sad truth and nothing but the truth.

Now before somebody starts crying like I know you usually do when I call something by its name: I consider myself a hamster, too, even if I know that some might not. Hamster does not equal to fat, it’s just a symbol. Most of my friends don’t know me without traces of food coating my oral cavity so I do know the struggle. Just as much, I think it’s totally ok to be a hamster, with or without the rat race – this is not a way of me saying that changing your physical appearance is necessary just because you don’t look like straight from a VS runway. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and this is not the point of this rant here.

But it makes me angry to see how people take advantage of somebody’s desire to lose weight, acting like there was a big secret behind it, something we don’t already know. We do know, even if, again, it sucks to know that it is all in our hands, basically.

A couple of days ago I saw one of those ‘I lost so much weight and girls you can, too – the secret is easy – go vegan’ posts and I really had to catch myself for a sec there. Breathe in, breathe out. Yes, it might be true, you might see some results after switching to a vegan diet – but I hope you don’t think that this can’t happen if you stick to a normal, not obsessive, balanced diet including everything, even an occasional slice of pizza or whatever sugary products float your goat, do you? It can and it will, if you keep your balance in mind. Just don’t overdo it. Or if you do, punish yourself, if you absolutely need to. Go crazy at the gym. Go for a nasty run. Hate yourself, blame yourself, whatever. And then get over it.

So I guess what I meant to say is – they don’t call it balance for nothing. That’s all you need to know, basically. Of course there’s food that is better for you than other food might be and there’s foods your body might process better than others  – but you don’t need to spend money on that information, do you? And you don’t need somebody to talk you into a lifestyle that doesn’t come to you naturally, just because it promises to make you lose some weight – and gain a sh*tload of energy or whatever else they offer as additional goodies.

The beauty of a simple balance – or calculus – is that it’s in your hands to work the cranks – now isn’t that good news?

Eat everybody who’s trying to sell you dieting secrets, trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Come share the love on Facebook – if you don’t share it, at least like it. xoxo

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Crazy healthy #6: veganism

UAAARGH it’s been ages since my last #crazyhealthy post and I hope you’ve all survived it, following my mother’s rules and all. Today I’m here to say a couple of words about veganism, which actually doesn’t quite fit this category here because, unlike many vegans that I’ve had the chance to meet in my life, I will not start a debate on why one or the other diet is right or wrong or healthy or not or … Heads Up! Generalization!

So I’d like to start this off by saying that I love meat. I’m not even sure if love is the right word, obsessed is more like it, maybe. Let’s just say I rather enjoy many products that come from animals and I am not afraid to say it. I love love love meat and there’s little in the world that can change this. The only thing that I do care about in this context is the quality of the products and the lives these animals have spent so I do make sure to spend more and maybe eat less of it, and yes, I know, it might be an illusion to believe in the promises that are being made about ethical husbandry etc. Anyway, go on, call me a bad person – yes, I’ve heard about a lot of cruel things and I’ve seen videos and I’ve thought about it a couple of times, but I always came back to the point of not choosing to change my diet because I believe that if my body is craving all of these things so badly, then it must be something it needs. That is my definition of healthy. I believe my body is smarter than my f*cked up mind and knows what it needs. And some days it says give me a steak, ASAP, and other days it says good girl, and now cover that sh*t in as many cheese as you can get. Also, I might be a bit lazy, when I think of all the sacrifice that comes with it in your everyday life…

I’m fine with vegans, though. I mean, I don’t get how somebody can live without diary – soy yoghurt is such a disgusting thing and so is rice milk – and act like meat didn’t smell heavenly but I do agree that there are a lot of super yummy vegan options that I could stuff my belly with daily – with a side of meat, that is.

What truly annoys me is that I can’t expect the same the other way around. It’s not like I can’t take the inconvenient truth, it’s just that some people can’t express their opinion in a normal way or accept the fact that there might be some truth in other approaches than theirs. So many times I’ve met vegans wo are just full of sh*t and I’m sorry if you’re not one of them – I advise you to stop reading here and come back next post, in case you don’t hate my guts already after this introduction… Anyway, here it is:

My – incomplete – what grinds my gears list – Heads Up! Generalization!:

  • It’s true what they say about vegans – they will always find a way to let you know. Why??? Imagine if I went around introducing myself like Hi, I’m Anna, and I like my steak medium rare. Who do you think would care? Isn’t it sad if that’s what you think defines you so much, you need to put it down in your Tinder bio? Also, I can’t take you seriously when, after being vegan for 3 weeks, you call yourself vegan. It’s like chill, sometimes I go a day without meat and I don’t decide to tell everybody I meet that day.
  • I obviously hate being told about how I’m a bad person for consuming living creatures for fun, but I can live with that – just because I don’t seem to have enough heart to care enough, doesn’t mean I don’t respect people for doing so. What, on the other hand, makes me a little nervous are questions like – if eating animals is wrong, why isn’t wearing a leather belt? Is it ok to ignore everything when it comes to Chanel bags made of cute little lambs? Because there are these people, you know.
  • ‘I’m mostly vegan, but it doesn’t work all of the time.’ Ok. This makes you NOT vegan, do you understand? You’re just somebody who avoids meat and loves to tell people, but sometimes you’re just too lazy to care or to stay hungry for a couple of hours. That’s not conviction, don’t you agree? It’s like people telling you they are vegetarians but they eat fish. Ehm, nope – you’re not. You’re a person that doesn’t like meat. That’s it. And I’m not the only one who thinks that way, trust me.
  • My fav phrases are things like – I love these meat-free sausages, they taste just like real sausages. Or Why don’t you try a tofu steak, you honestly wouldn’t know the difference! So… you condemn eating meat, but you’re desperately trying to find something that tastes like a yummy cow or pig? Just shut up already.
  • And then what’s with all the health arguments? I truly believe that if you don’t go eating tons of bacon and other bad meat every day, you will not be less healthy than somebody who doesn’t consume animal products at all. Especially with all the crappy, super processed vegan products you can buy which sound super fancy, but often contain a lot of scary stuff, too. You can’t tell me that eating packed stale vegan bread is more healthy than eating fresh, good quality bread with traces of milk or whatever. Or milk in general – if you don’t drink five liters a day, I don’t believe it’ll make you more sick than an equal amount of, mostly, sugary soy milk. I just don’t.
  • As a last point I’d like to mention all of you f*cked up girls on Instagram who promote veganism as a way to lose weight: you’re full of sh*t. It’s not the way to get a message across. You don’t care about animals as much as you care about being skinny. You don’t judge people for eating animals, you judge them for being fat. I bet you don’t like big, old dogs and you think pigs smell. Trump promoting altruism would be more credible than you are.

As I said, incomplete. I could go on and on and on. But I don’t start that argument if it’s not a friendly, informative exchange of different but equally ok belief. Because I’m not that kind of person. And you shouldn’t be, either. Let’s just talk about something else, shall we?

Eat whatever you want and if somebody tries to lecture you, eat them, too.

Anna

 

P.s.: I did not say that I think that being vegan is wrong, but here’s my disclaimer for all the vegans without a sense of humor out there and my Facebook page here, in case you’re a meat lover, too.

 

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Kryptonite

You know how people who finish some sort of challenge or whatever and then want to describe what they have learned from their experience, always manage to come up with something really deep like lalala, I don’t know, you get to know your body, your soul, you get to appreciate the little things in life and all that? Today I would like to share my experience with this little detox that I did for five days, starting Monday – but don’t expect this to be as deep as a hardcore vegan’s deep bullshit philosophy on food…

Remember? Me, a passionate carnivore, I ate vegetables and fruit only for five days straight. So I didn’t sip it from a bottle, it wasn’t a corporation with some brand – I did it with my bare hands and worked for my pain: I ate it raw, I cooked it, I made smoothies…And I moaned. A lot, actually. I’m not ashamed to admit that it really wasn’t easy for me – not one day, not one moment. I f*cking hated it. I know, I’m a huge pussy.

Am I a skinny bitch now? Nah, don’t worry – I’m still your friend. I ate so much fruit and vegetables, I spooned avocados during class at uni in order to stay sane and I also rewarded myself with raw cocoa powder. I probably managed to be over that 2000 kcal mark that people always talk about every day of my ‘detox’. I was eating nonstop. I tried to keep my physical activity to a minimum because I felt so weak. I felt like I had to eat to stay alive, it was horrible, really. It wasn’t fun at all. Lesson learned: eating isn’t fun if it’s merely to stay alive.

What else did I learn? I can live without a lot of things, but not without salt, coffee and fat. A day spent without these three things is a lost day. Never again, really. I can’t tell you how many times I thought to myself I should just stop and eat like a sane person again. But I didn’t, because I’m a stubborn brat and I didn’t want to write a post about how I didn’t even manage to stay away from fat for five days…

What was I hoping to achieve with this short intermezzo? As I have said before, it had nothing to do with weight loss – I’m team fit, not skinny. I didn’t really do it for health reasons either – I am actually already rather disciplined about leading a healthy, balanced lifestyle, so I didn’t really need an intervention. But I do have three weaknesses that I would love to get rid of: eating 200g of cashew nuts seven days a week, drinking a liter of coffee every day, whether I ‘need’ it or not and cheese – eating cheese in blocks daily is super not sexy, I think we can agree. And I think that’s about it. That’s what I wanted to achieve – just a little kickstart to a life without three more or less unhealthy cravings. World-shaking.

And now? I’m happy to report that I didn’t eat nuts yet. I’m still a little afraid to eat ‘a handful of nuts’ though because chances are that I’ll just end up eating all 200g of them… I managed to cut my coffee intake for one third and it’s not easy but I’m positive that this could work. But I’m not doing good with the cheese just yet, though – I had a fair share of cheese for breakfast on my first day back to normal food and then raclette noodles for lunch…And then guess what I had for breakfast today? What can I say – fat is my kryptonite.

And that’s it. Super deep, super exciting. That’s what I have learned about myself during those five days. I feel closer to fatty food more than ever. I never want to be without it ever again. And I don’t recommend it to any of you – not my little experiment here, not any of those fancy juice cleanses and not any other gluten free/fat free/joy free lifestyle. Just eat like a normal, healthy person, for God’s sake. Keep to 80/20 – be a healthy, reasonable person 80% of the time and pig out the rest of it. That’s it. And now go and treat yourself to something tasty.

Fat is good for you, trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Did this offend you? You must have missed my disclaimer. Or do you agree? Then why don’t you go and pay me a visit on Facebook?

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Thick thighs save lives

Every time my boyfriend leaves me for a weekend or longer, I suffer from horrible binge-eating – just so you guys know who’s to blame for the size of my thighs. Every time I get to a certain stage where I think yes, this is ok, you can stay like that, he has to go home to see his parents for the weekend or has to work some couple of hours away from me and BOOM, a monster takes possession of me. Let’s discuss dimensions here, because I think you’ll not understand what I’m talking about otherwise.

Chronicles of an inconspicuous Saturday

7:30am: For breakfast I had a smoothie of spinach and oranges and yoghurt with coffee. Of course I weighed all of it in order to get a rough overview of my calorie intake and not overdo it over the day – 200g spinach, 350g oranges, 250g yoghurt with flaxseeds lalala. I’m trying to get back in my summer shape, you know.

9:00 am: I realize I can’t make it until lunch so I fry up 300g of vegetables with an egg, sprinkle it with cheese and have it with another coffee. I tell myself that it’s ok, I’ll make it until lunch. Not quite.

10:30am: I start cooking lunch. 400g broccoli and 350g of chicken – at least I’ll be satisfied for a long time now.

11:30am: I’m done with lunch and realize I need to have some cooked apples and raspberries with cocoa in order to be completely satisfied. I post my 450g bowl on Instagram because it looks pretty. And it’s vegan. Instagram loves #vegan. I do not post my second bowl (xoxo to Essena O’Neill). 950g apples, not a big deal, I’ll be going to the gym in the next two hours so I need the energy anyway… Another coffee, let’s get some uni stuff done.

13:00pm: I don’t know, I’m kinda craving cashew nuts. If I take 44g and go to the gym in an hour, everything is still fine.

13:10pm: 100g is more like it, whatever, I’ll put an extra effort into my workout today, no biggie.

13:45pm: Somehow I’m really craving that lebkuchen my mother brought me from Nuremberg – from the bakery, sweet childhood memory – and I happen to know that there is half a lebkuchen in that pack. Ok, why not, I didn’t have cake for a couple of days now. At this point I like to start blaming it on my period that is due in a couple of days….

14:20pm: 3,5 lebkuchen later and I realise I won’t be going to the gym today, unless somebody drags me there and threatens my life. That must have been 275g? 300? I tell my boyfriend so he’s prepared for a lot of whining… I don’t tell him exactly what I ate, I just tell him it’s a bad day. Even after more than one year it feels weird to tell him. He’ll need to read it here.

15:00pm: The day is over anyway, so why not have 300g of sweet bread? I’ve given up on counting calories after saying yes to the whole pack of nuts, this is just for your orientation.

15:15pm: Thank god, finally satisfied. Kinda. I don’t know? Am I? I might go for a run later, just to soothe that conscience a litte. Haha. Guess what.

16:00pm: Nope, no running. I don’t even want to clean the flat, I just want to stay in bed and watch series. Not a bad plan. Yes I have a lot of stuff to do for uni but I also clearly have other problems.

17:00pm: I’m so happy I’m not hungry anymore, what a relief.

20:15pm: Ok, enough, I really need to get some stuff done. But first 7 tangerines. Did you ever have a headache from fructose? It’s disgusting.

22:00pm: Facetime with the boy, another 5 tangerines.

23:00pm: So. Thirsty. Overeaters will know. Will this ever leave my body? The good news is that I’m finally starting to feel like this was more than enough for one day. Does anybody feel the same way as I do? Let’s find out in a blogpost…

Whatever, thick thighs save lives, girls. Don’t sweat it. Right? Am I right? Ok, I’m off to bed, dreaming of this magical place called tomorrow.

Please let me know if this little list amused or terrified you. I’m really curious to know. Really, really curious. How many calories do you think we’re looking at? Let me know.

Disclaimer: I’m being honest here because I think it’s funny – in a freaky way, yes – and not because I’m seeking help.

Gluttony is good for you, trust me. Not really.

Anna

 

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No is not my thing

I’m not one to say no, especially not to food. Oh no, not when it comes to food – food is holy, you know, and I am Russian so there are certain things I can’t change, it’s in my genes. Now I’m not the supermodel Lena Perminova Russian type, unfortunately, I’m more the food, food, more food, mayonnaise and blini type of Russian. My grandmother calls it the Russian soul. YOLO, right?

With this said, I struggle a lot when it comes to this topic. I’m not tall, I’m not of slight build and I don’t look the way that people think I should when I tell them that I’m from Russia. We’re not all born as supermodels or wives of Russian oligarchs, life’s not fair, get over it and suck it up.

One funny phenomenon I struggle with is that I gain a lot of weight fast when I come back from the beach – it’s probably some kind of depressive withdrawal reaction my body has that leads me to eat whatever crosses my eyes. This time, since coming back from Cyprus not even three weeks ago, I’ve managed to gain 3kg by eating a bag of nuts everyday and whatever else there was. It’s a strange feeling when you witness yourself doing stupid things you know you will regret shortly after but still can’t stop doing it. Please tell me you’re with me on this. If not, I have nothing but respect for your composure.

I’m a person that needs official ends of old things and starts to new things in order to really get over it – same goes with discipline. I need a point where I know ok, this is it. I don’t know when it comes and how, I don’t think I can pilot it. It didn’t happen when I ordered a dress a few days ago and it didn’t fit so I had to order a size bigger. It happened yesterday when I just felt really really guilty and ridiculous, like a dog that can’t stop if you don’t stop giving it treats. Only I’m the kind of dog that know where to look for treats when you’ve already decided it’s more than enough. I think the dog is ready to go back to reasonable eating again.

Now I know that people always roll their eyes when you’re not exactly overweight and feel bad in your skin. You’re just a stupid whiny brat with nothing else to worry about, right? Care for some attention? While I am definitely not pro skinny skinny and really believe that women are beautiful in every shape and size, I still don’t like being or feeling short and puffy – no matter what you say, it’s not a good feeling when your thighs rub to an extent where you get wounds between your legs.

So what am I getting at? I don’t even know. I think I just needed to share with the world that I’m getting my sh*t back together from today on so I don’t find excuses to down more bags of nuts in one go. Also, I’m open to advice. We live in a time where people, especially women my age, pay too much attention to this topic and are over-educated when it comes to this. So, everything aside from ‘skip carbs’ ,’don’t eat after 4pm’, ‘nibble on ice cubes’ – you don’t know what it’s really like to love food, right? – I’m open to it. Let me hear what you do when you feel you should look more like Bar Refaeli and less like your favourite, greasy food. Or like yourself, a couple of months ago?

Maybe this is the sign you needed. Maybe you want to team up with me and regain a little bit of that control you know you are in charge of.

Obsession is good for you, trust me.

Anna

 

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