Tag Archives: men

Turn-off

I’ve been having inner rants about a recent group project at uni for a while now and it’s about time I draw a general conclusion from my experience – what do you think?

Just to give you a quick overview of where I’m coming from before I get to the juicy part: I’m currently working on a project with three male partners – one of which is working really hard for our common cause, using his brain, giving valuable input, showing up on time etc. The other two however keep it to the absolute minimum, low budget performance, sprinkled with excuses nobody has time for. In general, they are both nice and all, but there’s just something I feel like every man should be told:

Not doing what you said you would do is so unattractive in a man. Being indecisive is unattractive. Not using your f*cking brain is unattractive. Not doing an effort is unattractive. Ignorance is unattractive, just as is laziness. Not taking the lead is so so unattractive. And excuses? F*cking stop the excuses – I’m not your resolution.

These things might be unattractive in women as well, but they are an absolute turn-off in a man, if you ask me – no matter what kind of relationship you have with that person, personal or professional. You can be turned-off by the indecency of a coworker as well, right? To me, a man just becomes immensely unattractive if I notice a pattern of him not keeping to his word or being indifferent to me taking the lead. You’re a man, after all – at least act the part.

I know it’s difficult to say something about attractive and unattractive – there are countless men out there who probably find me unattractive for the length (haha) of my legs, the shape of my nose or just generally the way that I breathe – but think of attraction in the general sense of respect here.

On this occasion, please spare me all the witty remarks on how women are asking for emancipation all the time and how comments on qualities in a man are opposed to that – I do not work on becoming a confident woman so that we can switch sexual organs and live happily ever after. If a woman is confident enough to challenge, it doesn’t mean that everybody else can just sit back and relax. I’m not asking to become the bearer of balls, I’m fine to work what I was given, thank you.

You know, feelings and all, weaknesses – they are all good and it sure is cute to see some of them in a man sometimes, as a little present, a manifestation of trust or whatever. But as soon as weakness becomes his first, second and last name, things have gotten out of hand. Call 911 or just run if you can. While this is possible in a personal relationship, sadly, oftentimes you’re left with having to deal with it in all other kinds of interactions with people…

And then also, there’s a difference between having weak spots and just plainly not sticking to ones word – because having the courage or determination to state something, promise something and really sticking to it, that’s immensely attractive slash respectable.

In every context and in contact with everybody, really. What makes you a valuable partner in a relationship, to a certain extent makes you a decent human being in general. It doesn’t matter if it’s with somebody you know or a complete stranger. If you think you’re man enough in front of your significant other or whoever you’re trying to impress, but can’t be a decent, dependable human being in other situations, like work or just any kind of social interaction, then you’re still a wimp. And how unattractive that is…

To keep it simple: the most attractive thing a man can do, is exactly what he says he’s going to do – trust me.

Anna

 

P.s.: Why don’t you support my rants and go hit that like button on Facebook? I’d love love love for this little project here to grow – xoxo

 

Picture via girlboss

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Clueless

They say that men are the stronger of the sexes. I think we’ll have to agree to disagree here, but I’ll gladly accept it if we can make the following limitation: they might be generally stronger physically – even though there are many many examples of viragos out there that could scare the living crap out of most men – but they are definitely inferior when it comes to seeing through the simple things in life, like their favorite toys in the world: women.

Now don’t worry, this is not supposed to be a feminist manifesto about the pros and cons of the superiority of the female sex. It’s also not a deep analysis of what women mean when they say yes or no. It’s just the observations of a girl who’s baffled by the naiveté occasionally displayed by guys who usually explain the world to her – guys who have no problem understanding complex correlations of the universe or memorizing detailed features of countless cars but turn out to be adorably clueless when it comes to the functions of the other sexes body and all the mysteries behind it.

If, as a woman, you want to have a really good laugh, let a man explain the functions of your cookie box to you – like where does which fluid come out of, where exactly does the baby come from and where do you put the tampon in? You could think these should not be too complicated questions, seeing that they know where to enter you (nine times out of ten). But the look on a man’s face when somebody explains the basics of a vajayjay to them for the first time is priceless. You can see their brains rattling: astonishment, incredulity, enlightenment, curiosity, disgust – all at once. They are not sure if they even want to know in detail how on earth it is possible to use the toilet without removing the wad of cotton wool that is hidden between your legs, but they realize that there’s a completely unknown world of ah’s and wow’s connected to one of their favorite places in the world inside your lap.

Anything that has to do with your period is a secret, really, mostly because the whole topic is so weird to them. Like, blood coming out of a wound on their finger is just blood. A man who doesn’t like his steak medium rare is just a huge f*cking pussy. But as soon as it is coming from inside a girl, on a monthly basis, it is completely different – it is the most disgusting thing in the world, can we please not talk about it? Also: does every girl have this or am I the only guy who has to deal with the monthly restrictions linked to it? Oh, your body changes, like, my second favorite part of your body might hurt and slash or change in size? Interesting.

Which leads us to anything that has to do with sex. There’s some things that only men who have had a serious relationship will ever know – like, rotating movements of your hip don’t do the trick. Like, not at all. Really. I’m sorry. Nope. Also, I know that you enjoy touching particular parts of our bodies but you also have to know that there’s a difference between stroking or gentle rubbing and intensive kneading, turning an erogenous zone into a really really painful zone. F*cking stop, I beg you. I have already touched upon this subject earlier – how, contrary to male belief, women don’t always have to scream as if they were being slaughtered in order to enjoy it and how it has to do little with physical attraction if a woman isn’t up for anything 24/7.

And then there’s that mystery that surrounds women and their relationship with other women. Men will always think – or hope – that there’s a lot going on when women meet in the absence of the other sex. There’s no f*cking way you can keep your hands to yourself during a sleepover – men just know you’re hiding something from them. Sweet, sweet secrets.

The list is really endless and I invite you to share your favorite misconceptions and legends here. I’d love to hear them all as addition to the twelve volume encyclopedia I’m planning to publish on this topic.

They have no f*cking clue, trust me.

Anna

 

 

P.s.: I hope this didn’t offend you, but if it did – please consult my disclaimer. If you kind of agreed, I think you should visit me on Facebook – xoxo

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I got it from my mama

Stop worrying so much! Why do you question everything? Everything is going to be alright.

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine shared a thought with me that pretty much coincides with an observation that I have made especially often now that I have a male somebody to share my thoughts with 24/7: while men can’t be bothered most of the time, women just can’t stop worrying about everything. Everything. Am I going to succeed? What if I’m not smart enough? Am I pretty enough? Does he really love me? Is this going to last forever? What did he mean with ‘ok’? Is it me or does my tushy look huge in these jeans? Now is this a good or a bad thing? What am I going to eat for lunch? Am I ever going to get rid of that extra piece of cake? I don’t know about you but that’s what I got from my mama.

My friend told me to write a post about it so I started thinking – great concept. Thinking of the situations where I worry about something and comparing it to the rare situations I can recollect of my boyfriend or other men worrying brought me to another conclusion: men do worry – they just don’t worry about the same type of things as women do.

Besides worrying about love and their weight 24/7, women worry a lot about their loved ones and how everything will work out for them. Women can’t just let their men leave the house without worrying about their well-being. Maybe you should put on a jacket, it will be cold in the evening. Promise you won’t drive too fast. Are you sure you won’t be hungry? Men are like puppies, too jaunty to care for their health, they need to be chaperoned.

Neither can women just let their friend’s lives unattended. What did he say? Are you happy? Please don’t whatsapp while you drive. A good friend is somebody who questions everything before you can say it out loud, a good friend will think of things that you might have forgotten, a good friend is your conscience and your confidence when you can’t hear anything over the sound of life.

To women, happiness is a fleeting construct. They can never just be content with what they have – How long will it last? Is it really what we think it is? What if something happens to it? I believe that this is where jealousy comes from with women – panic of losing what makes us happy. In contrast I think what men think of when feeling jealousy is Who is better than me? Why is he better than me? I don’t like this. Maybe that is also the reason why they seem to be more indifferent to hurting other people – they can’t emphasize as much as women do. They can’t think of you when they are too busy with something else.

See what I’m aiming at? Men do worry, but do you know what they worry about? Themselves. And that is nothing they want to share with the world. Am I successful enough? Do I look bulky enough? Do people respect me? Did I satisfy her? Is my manhood big enough? Why talk about worries when you can talk about success, why communicate weakness and sorrows when you need to be the toughest? These are the things you only learn when things get uneasy, when life takes an unexpected turn, when they feel like they are broken or on rare occasions when even men enjoy the relieving sensation of sharing.

Maybe you don’t like this. Maybe this is too black or white for you. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this is just a brief thought. Maybe women should cut a slice off of men. But maybe we’re on the right track.

Questioning things can be good for you, sometimes.

Anna

 

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