I’ve been having inner rants about a recent group project at uni for a while now and it’s about time I draw a general conclusion from my experience – what do you think?
Just to give you a quick overview of where I’m coming from before I get to the juicy part: I’m currently working on a project with three male partners – one of which is working really hard for our common cause, using his brain, giving valuable input, showing up on time etc. The other two however keep it to the absolute minimum, low budget performance, sprinkled with excuses nobody has time for. In general, they are both nice and all, but there’s just something I feel like every man should be told:
Not doing what you said you would do is so unattractive in a man. Being indecisive is unattractive. Not using your f*cking brain is unattractive. Not doing an effort is unattractive. Ignorance is unattractive, just as is laziness. Not taking the lead is so so unattractive. And excuses? F*cking stop the excuses – I’m not your resolution.
These things might be unattractive in women as well, but they are an absolute turn-off in a man, if you ask me – no matter what kind of relationship you have with that person, personal or professional. You can be turned-off by the indecency of a coworker as well, right? To me, a man just becomes immensely unattractive if I notice a pattern of him not keeping to his word or being indifferent to me taking the lead. You’re a man, after all – at least act the part.
I know it’s difficult to say something about attractive and unattractive – there are countless men out there who probably find me unattractive for the length (haha) of my legs, the shape of my nose or just generally the way that I breathe – but think of attraction in the general sense of respect here.
On this occasion, please spare me all the witty remarks on how women are asking for emancipation all the time and how comments on qualities in a man are opposed to that – I do not work on becoming a confident woman so that we can switch sexual organs and live happily ever after. If a woman is confident enough to challenge, it doesn’t mean that everybody else can just sit back and relax. I’m not asking to become the bearer of balls, I’m fine to work what I was given, thank you.
You know, feelings and all, weaknesses – they are all good and it sure is cute to see some of them in a man sometimes, as a little present, a manifestation of trust or whatever. But as soon as weakness becomes his first, second and last name, things have gotten out of hand. Call 911 or just run if you can. While this is possible in a personal relationship, sadly, oftentimes you’re left with having to deal with it in all other kinds of interactions with people…
And then also, there’s a difference between having weak spots and just plainly not sticking to ones word – because having the courage or determination to state something, promise something and really sticking to it, that’s immensely attractive slash respectable.
In every context and in contact with everybody, really. What makes you a valuable partner in a relationship, to a certain extent makes you a decent human being in general. It doesn’t matter if it’s with somebody you know or a complete stranger. If you think you’re man enough in front of your significant other or whoever you’re trying to impress, but can’t be a decent, dependable human being in other situations, like work or just any kind of social interaction, then you’re still a wimp. And how unattractive that is…
To keep it simple: the most attractive thing a man can do, is exactly what he says he’s going to do – trust me.
P.s.: Why don’t you support my rants and go hit that like button on Facebook? I’d love love love for this little project here to grow – xoxo
Picture via girlboss