It will probably not come as a surprise to you that Valentine’s Day is my least favorite ‘holiday’ of all. Has been and will always be – when I didn’t have a boyfriend and still now that I am a member of that annoying club of people who are madly in love with each other. Now that I have been a member of this club for a while, I can finally take the freedom of saying a couple of snarky words about the holy holiday of the brainwashed, without sounding like a sad lonely girl.
Why don’t I like it? I don’t know, maybe because for some sick reason I deeply enjoy being negative about certain slash many things. But maybe it’s also because my whole body bridles at the thought of such affected symbolic nonsense. I broke up with my first boyfriend the day before Valentine’s Day when I was 18 years old because I couldn’t stand the fact of being pressured into showing affection that day – and flew to New York with him, as friends, on Valentine’s Day the year after. The only weird thing about it was the SWISS stewardesses harassing us with chocolate hearts all along the flight. That’s how indifferent I feel about this day.
Maybe it’s because I’m really bad at making presents, even though I don’t think that women should give men something on Valentine’s Day – surprise, diva alert! And maybe it’s also because I’m so hard to please – I know, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but really, red roses are so ordinary, they only look good when they come in multiples of 100 (you know, like from those photos of girls with a huge ass bouquet of roses which you can only find on Russian accounts), whereas just one single white rose or peony can outshine everything, all by itself. Doesn’t anybody agree? Less can be more, you heard it here first.
So…I don’t really like red roses, mostly for being so cliché, I guess…I hate Michael Kors watches and Pandora bracelets, universal distinctive mark for basics…but most of all I dislike being told to act a certain way, when I was planning to do so anyway: the person you love needs to hear it seven days a week, 356 days a year – go tell your special someone now. It doesn’t have to be with a present, just a random short message will do, even if you’re only apart for five minutes. I’m not talking about overwhelming spam whenever you can’t be together, but I honestly prefer getting nothing at all on Valentine’s Day, but being profoundly sure that I’m not wasting my time and energy on the wrong person all other days of the year. I guess you can call it high maintenance in a non-materialistic way.
The only Valentine’s Day I really enjoyed was last year, when the boy and I were to Copenhagen to celebrate his sister’s wedding – it felt kind of romantic to celebrate someone else’s love that day, not ours. Maybe we’ll find something equally not egocentric to do this year, but probably not because the boy is too busy with exams. Either way, I vow not to make a big deal about it and leave it for another day or moment.
So if you’re a guy looking for a present for a special lady, what should you get her? Honestly, if you have to, one single flower will do – but so will an honest hug, a couple of honest words. But hey! If you’re loaded, by all means, don’t hesitate to spoil the sh*t out of her, go and get her some really nice jewelry or whatever, but do it the day before or whenever she least expects it – so much better. Don’t be too focussed on some invented holiday, be the anti-cyclical, single flower type of guy.
And girls, do me a favor and don’t go all #bestboyfriend on February 14 – we really hope he is the rest of the year, too. And if you don’t agree with me, do it for the sad single girls out there, who really shouldn’t be dreaming of a Michael Kors watch for all the wrong reasons.
Less can be more, trust me.
P.S.: If you agree, you can let me know via Facebook 🙂